Man I hate the police…I just f**cking hate the Po Po! How often have you said or heard someone you know say that? I find I have been saying that same phrase a bit more than usual lately. In fact I have been saying it a lot. Don’t get me wrong, I have as healthy a respect for law and order as the next man…but these “patty shop” police men we have ‘Mek mi blood boil’.
How often have you seen little fender benders on the road and rather than stop to help sort things out you see police cars slow down, look and then drive past?
The other day, my transmission went to car heaven on Hope Road race track. About five police cars drove pass an empty car with hazard lights on at 9:30 P.M. and all now, not one stop ‘Fi seh dawg!’.
#TIP 1 - If you are broken down somewhere and you need police assistance or escort, make sure you park/leave the car in some way which constitutes a ticket-able offense…Very few Jamaican police can pass up the opportunity for a quick hustle.
Another thing I noticed of late, since that f**ckery 2 A.M. Music lock off law…no matter where the party is, as soon as it gets around to that time…you see police cars drawing near, even though the party usually goes on for another hour or two.
#Tip 2 - If you have to call the police in the wee hours and want to make sure they come quickly, do not tell them your house is being robbed…turn up your radio loud and tell them that the session next door music too loud…again like tip #1…the easy hustle is the bait.
Another scam they have going, is to pull you over for your vehicle having a ticket-able offense.
The other day I am driving to the Tire Warehouse in Portmore to change a damaged tire. When I got to Maxfield Avenue a police man stepped out into the road and pulled me over. He then proceeded to circle my car…he saw the damaged tire and said “I have to give you a ticket for that tire and it is going to be $7,500.00 plus six (6) points off your license”. I explained to the officer that I was aware of the tire damage and was in fact on my way to get it fixed…he just repeated his seven five, six points mantra, a couple more times.
Very annoyed at that point I told him to go ahead and write the ticket…at which point he asked me for my car papers. He wrote the ticket, which I took and threw in the trunk of my car and went about my merry way.
A few days later I went to the Tax Office with my ticket and my hard earned $7,500.00. When I got to the cashier I handed both to her and after she looked over everything she asked me if I was just paying for the ticket alone. I replied “yes”, at which point she handed me back $5,500.00 as the ticket was in fact for $2,000.00!!
Apparently the scam is to stop you and find an offense and then tell you some exorbitant sum for the ticket and a whole lot of points, to make you panic and “give dem a money”. Fortunately the charge for a particular offense is not arbitrary and if you refuse to play ball they have to write the ticket for the value of the offense rather than the “scare money” quoted.
DO NOT FALL FOR THIS SCAM!
In the long run, $2,000.00 at the tax office benefits you more that $1,000.00 given to a ‘tiefing’ police man! Do not be frightened by the points’ threat either as no one seems to keep track of these ‘points’ and it would actually take work and intelligence to figure out that mess, so again, you are pretty much safe for your license being suspended. In all the years of this point system and Jamaicans’ bad driving I still have never heard of someone whose license had been actually suspended, have you?
