There are few things that are more aggravating than a dunce driver, and trust me there are more dunce drivers on our roads than you can cuss a bad word at. Isn’t it kind of weird that most people drive like the gateway to heaven is around the next bend and they just baptize? What is the rush? It is not like anybody ever reach anywhere early. It just seems like it is hard-wired in our psyche to rush and hurry, even when we have nowhere to rush and hurry to.

There are more mad people on the road driving than you can find at Bellevue any day of the week.

And it is quite evident; if you should keep a watch on Hope Road on any night, particularly Saturday and Sunday nights. A few months back one brethren kill off himself and another brethren at about 3 A.M. Where the hell could he be hurrying to at 3 A.M.? Everywhere lock.

But then dunce is dunce. You can’t stop to let people cross the street without idiots behind you blowing, some people seem frighten for car horn or them just like blow. We need to ask purpose when the vehicle lands on the wharf and if the answer is Taxi, just tear out the horn and throw it away right there.

I could go on for days writing about the escapades of the dunce drivers. So here goes, 8 ways to know if you are a Dunce Driver.

1. You drive an executive coaster bus or a robot taxi.

If you do, you are a dunce! Past participle DUNCE!! Tear up the license you bought and leave driving to people with sense.

2. You watch the “other light” and drive off as soon as it turns red.

If you do, you are an idiot. The delay is to facilitate the other idiot (and you might well be one) who speeds up on the amber to “mek it” through the red light. If you have ever had an accident at a stoplight and you were wrong then it is just Darwinism. The dumber ones die first and it is more luck than merit why you are here reading this.

3. You race to beat everyone through the 4way stop.

If you are one of those pigs who think the four way stop is a race ask the person reading this article to you, to read you the relevant section of the driver’s handbook (and yes you can look at the pictures).

4. You pull up right behind the car in front, even if it means blocking an intersection or minor road.

Newsflash, one car length closer to home is not going to change the price of your bread you selfish bastard.

5. You do not use indicators or hand signals.

Then how the hell will other people know you are turning or planning to? You would actually have to have a brain to qualify for mind reading.

6. You blow your horn as soon as the light goes green.

I have just one word for you Monica: physics

7. You drive on the right hand side of the road to avoid waiting in line.

You are a coaster bus/robot taxi driver! See above, I have nothing more to say to you.

8. You take detours to cut out traffic that bring you back to the same road.

That is why the traffic is backed up in the first place; idiots like you trying to edge back onto the road. Cars traveling in a straight line travel faster than when intersecting at right angles.

If you realize you are a dunce driver, please for all that is good and pure, just tear up the license you bought and leave driving to people with sense or ask the person who is reading this article to you to read you the driver’s handbook.

Jamaica