Here are five tricks of the trade you can add to your arsenal to help you survive as a small business owner in Jamaica.

1. Use JMMB for banking

Your JMMB account can function as a checking account without incurring the fees associated with a regular checking account by a commercial bank. They charge a service charge plus GCT for each cheque requested, but this can easily be avoided by requesting your cheques online.

2. Maintain the cash equivalent of one to two months of expenses in your account

Most clients make their payments to vendors at the end of the month. This cheque, most likely, will be held by your bank (including JMMB) for 5 to 7 working days. Now considering that your bills as well as GCT are due at the end of the month, you might not have the luxury of waiting a week to access the cash you have collected. Holding the cheque against your float allows you access to your cash immediately so you can meet your obligations on time.

3. Run a home/virtual office

Run your business from your home if this is at all possible. This not only keeps your overhead to a minimum but can also assist you in meeting your personal mortgage/rental payments. It may be attractive and seem more professional to rent an office, but many small businesses do not survive long enough to grow into the space too hastily rented. Operate from your house if possible and grow out of it. If you need to meet with clients, meet either at their office or over lunch. Yes, you might have to spring for the check…but remember that this too is tax deductible.

4. Do not post invoices to your accounting system until they are paid

Once you post an invoice to your accounts you will have to pay the GCT on that invoice whether or not the client has paid. You can claim back for it on your next GCT payment, but paying out money you have not yet received is always bad and should be avoided at all costs.

5. Avoid under the table transactions

In a shrinking economy where you face heavy taxation, this may seem attractive, since it puts money directly into your pocket and saves you from paying taxes on these transactions. However, this practice actually strangles the inflow of cash into your business. So while your personal coffers are being fattened, you might find that your business is struggling to meet its financial obligations and stay afloat. Remember not everything that is good for your personal financial state is good for your business. Do not CANNIBALIZE your source of income.

If you have any tips you would like to add to this arsenal please add them in the comments section below.

GOOD LUCK!

If you are ever in Jamaica or even if you live here, rafting down the Rio Grande is a must have experience. The raft takes a seven mile trip down the river through some of the most beautiful landscapes the island have to offer. You can pilot your own raft for portions of the trip, take a dip in the beautiful clear water, buy refreshments from any of the floating bars or shop for art and crafts from the riverside art galleries.

if that is too tame for your senses you can go night rafting…The pilots promise…THEY WILL NEVER TURN AROUND!

Photos courtesy of Mel, Jason and Moiya. Thanks guys!!

The story Goes:

That years ago a wealthy Irish man came to Portland Jamaica (reputed the most beautiful of all the fourteen parishes) and fell in love not only with the land but with a local beauty. In his eagerness to win her heart he decided to build a Great House overlooking the sea where they could spend the rest of their years in bliss. But alas, the foolish gentle man in his haste to construct the perfect home for his bonny lass. He choose to use material on site…sea sand and seawater for the construction.

Needless to say, the house began crumbling around them as soon as it was completed. The bonny lass fell sick and died at the Great House and the Gentleman returned home with a broken heart never to set foot in Jamaica again.

And so the place was named in his honor…or more appropriately for his Folly.

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How often have you seen little fender benders on the road and rather than stop to help sort things out you see police cars, slow down, look and then drive past?

The other day, my transmission went to car heaven on Hope Road race track. About five police cars drove pass an empty car with hazard lights on at 9:30pm, and all now, not one stop ‘Fi seh dawg!’.

#TIP 1 - If you are broken down somewhere and you need police assistance or escort. Make sure you park/leave the car in someway that constitutes a ticket-able offense…Very few Jamaican police can pass up the opportunity for a quick hustle.

Another thing I noticed of late since that f**ckery 2am Music lock off law…no matter where the party is, as soon as it gets around to that time…you see police cars drawing near, even though the party usually go on for another hour or two.

#Tip 2 - If you have to call the police in the wee hours and want to make sure they come quickly, don’t tell them your house is being robbed…turn up your radio loud and tell them that the session next door music too loud…again like tip 1…the easy hustle is the bait.

Another scam they have going, is to pull you over over your vehicle for a ticket-able offense.

The other day I am driving to the Tire Warehouse in Portmore to changed a damaged tire. When I got to Maxfield Avenue a police man stepped out into the road and pulled me over. He then proceed to circle my car…he saw the damaged tire and said “I have to give you a ticket for that tire and its going to be $7500.00 plus six (6) points off your license”. I explained to the officer that I was aware of the tire damage and was in fact on my way to get it fixed…he just repeated his seven five, six points mantra, a couple more times.

Very annoyed at that point I told him to go ahead and write the ticket…at which point he asked me for my car papers. He wrote the ticket, which I took and threw it in the trunk of my car and went about my merry way.

A few days later I went to the Tax Office with my ticket and my hard earned $7500.00. When I got to the cashier I handed both to her…after looking over everything…she asked me if I was just paying for the ticket alone…I replied “yes”, at which point she handed me back $5500.00…the ticket was in fact for $2000.00!!

Apparently the scam is to stop you and find an offense and then tell you some exorbitant sum for the ticket and a whole lot of points, this is to make you panic and “give dem a money”. Fortunately the charge for a particular offense is not arbitrary and if you refuse to play ball they have to write the ticket to the value of the offense rather than the scare money quoted.

DO NOT FALL FOR THIS SCAM

In the long run, $2000.00 at the tax office benefits you more that $1000.00 given to a ‘tiefing’ police man! Do not be frightened by the points threat either…no one seems to keep track of these ‘points’ and it would actually take work and intelligence to figure out that mess…so again, you are pretty much safe for your license being suspended…in all the years of this point system and Jamaicans bad driving I still have never heard of someone whose license had been actually suspended…Have you?

Likewise in true “Third World” fashion don’t expect much in terms of directions, advice and or explanations to quote the Director of Companies of Jamaica, the body responsible for registering business names and incorporating companies Ms. Judith Ramlogan “Our company is not obligated to provide information about our services to our clients”.

Despite such arrogance and stupidity, do not be discourage, I have compile the Jamaican Cheat Sheet: Small Business to help you find your way.

Registering your Business
First stop is the Companies of Jamaica website where you can download and print the form you require, depending on your needs. What they may or may not tell you though is that:

Expiration of your certificate does not mean cancellation, you continue to owe the Government for all renewals until the name is cancelled. Keep in mind you might also be audited for taxes though your business is defunct.

Also need to walk with 3 passport size pictures and your TRN number and remember the registration fee.

Companies of Jamaica
1 Grenada Way
Kingston
Tel: 876-908-4419-26

National Insurance Scheme (NIS)
Download your relevant NIS forms and complete and drop off at the NIS office.

Walk with two 2 passport size pictures signed by a JP, and your birth certificate.

National Insurance Scheme
18 Ripon Road
Kingston 5
Tel: 876-929-7144-6

Taxpayer Registration Number (TRN)
Download your TRN FORMS and drop off at the office. Requirements are the same as those for the (NIS) number.

TRN Office
Kingston Mall
12 Ocean Boulevard
Kingston
Tel: 876-922-7429/922-3913

Inland Revenue Dept.
Register with Inland Revenue Department for income tax. Download the applicable forms. Register for Income Tax, Education Tax (ED Tax), General Consumption Tax (GCT) and other statutory deductions.

National Housing Trust (NHT)
Download the relevant forms, complete and drop off at the NHT office.

National Housing Trust
4 Park boulevard
Kingston 5
Tel: 876-929-6500/929-6627

Tax Compliance Certificate (TCC)
Download the TCC form and email it to the following locations.

KINGSTON: tcckingstreet@ird.gov.jm
CONSTANT SPRING: tcccspring@ird.gov.jm
SPANISH TOWN: tccspntwn@ird.gov.jm
MANDEVILLE: tccmandeville@ird.gov.jm
MAY PEN: tccmaypen@ird.gov.jm
ST. ANNS BAY: tccstaby@ird.gov.jm
MONTEGO BAY: tccmobay@ird.gov.jm

You can collect your TCC within 24hrs from the location you sent your email to.

NOTE
All information listed here is schedule to change, and expect this to be as tedious and as time consuming as possible, in the end though it is well worth it as without your contribution to the countries coffers you really don’t have a say.

The Bruce Golding led Government recently stated that they cannot reveal their crime plan as it would tell the criminals too much and undermine the efforts of the government in ‘Taming the Crime Beast’, My interpretation of such statements is there is NO plan, and as usual we are just winging it…but then again, I am cynical.

And the logic of cynical reasonings are thus. In order to effectively combat crime in Jamaica, one of the first obstacles we have to tackle is a dated and ineffective police force. There is no evidence this task is underway so I have to conclude there is no method to the madness. We are just winging it and hoping the criminal element will find Jesus. While I hope they do get a little God in them, the burning question is:

How do we revolutionize a police force in short order?

The answer I am sure lies in some government white papers buried so deep they will never see the light of day. So again using a bit of common sense I have compiled a list of actions in no specific order to begin this arduous task.

1. Establishment of a central command

Creation of a central intelligence gathering and processing unit staffed by a small team of highly trained investigators who know how to assimilate data and how to look for patterns in information. This group will be the head of the spear which directs the actions of the larger body. Kingfish and 911 calls would be routed through this command center.

2. LoJack all Police cars

We need to place a tracker in all police cars so they can be located and monitored on a real-time map from central command; in this way, resources can be more carefully aimed at criminal activity. This also serves the purpose of pulling police officers in line and ensuring police cars are available for police business and not personal whims and pleasures.

3. Mandatory assistance

Police officers should be required by law to intervene in any disturbances they encounter in the streets and either resolve the problems themselves or radio in the location so other personnel can come in and resolve the issue. No more driving past car accidents, or broken down motorists, or sections of road way that are blocked off and obstructing the traffic flow. This will teach our police officers how to deal with problems – they cannot shoot in just any situation, and will aslo help with winning over the trust and respect of society who largely believe the police are the enemy.

4. Ban personal mobile phones for cops on active duty

Not only does it look unprofessional but it is a source of interruption in times of crisis.

5. Renovate police stations

Renovate all police stations so that officers can have a comfortable home base from which to work. By fostering pride in their surroundings officers can feel better about themselves and the jobs they do.

6. Evolution of the big book

Retire the ‘Big Book’. Enter statements in a central computer database so data can be measured, searched, analyzed and accessed in real time, across space and time. This database should also interface with the fingerprinting database. This will actually give the police intelligence on which to base their work. As it is now, big books are for reference and cannot share information, which makes it very ineffective.

Scenario 1
You need a police report, so you have to go to theMinistry of Justice to pay for the report and then go elsewhere to pick it up days later.

Scenario 2
You need a police report, you go to the Ministry of Justice to pay for it, they search their database, print your statement, stamp it and hand it to you within minutes.

7. Hire secretaries for police stations

The practice of using a trained police officer for data entry is downright stupid. Each police station should be provided with a secretary to take statements and enter them in the computer system. This way we will free up wasted man power which can be utilized more effectively. Another important function this will serve is to take the headache out of giving a statement to someone who can spell your name.

These are just some suggestions to get the ball rolling…we don’t have to implement the all immediately to get things going. If we break it into prioritized tasks and do it step by step, I am sure in a few years Jamaica could have a police force it can be proud of.

That being said, how did Ms. Judith Ramlogan become head of Companies of Jamaica (formerly Registrar of companies) Why isn’t she instead director of Jamaica’s manned mission to Mars?

I asked these question after having the great misfortune to engage in debate with Ms. Ramlogan about the responsibilities of her organization to provide information about their services to their clients, this was her response:

“The mandate of my company is to register businesses, we are not in anyway obligated to provide information to our clients about our services”

Ms. Ramlogan went as far as to suggest that prospective clients of her office should seek legal help and be advised by their legal advisers about the services offered by Companies of Jamaica.

Good thing I wasn’t wearing my good ‘going out clothes‘ as I have never had so much bullshit shoveled in my direction, outside of a political rally. The inane arrogance portrayed by Ms. Ramlogan not only leads me to question her abilities and fitness for her position, but urges me to demand her immediate removal from the post, if, like her I knew somebody, who knows somebody who knows her boss.

Incidentally after leaving Ms. Ramlogans office covered in manure, I had no option but to go pay my ‘hidden fees’ and register my business, at which point I was told to come back for pick-up on Monday. I went on Tuesday only to be told:

“This is a renewal, it takes five days instead of two, if you wanted it in two you should have paid a rush fee of 1500.00″

(one of those bits of information I should have gotten from legal counsel) Now I am contemplating firing my legal counsel who did not properly inform me of the inner workings of Companies of Jamaica.

Now was Ms Ramlogan in charge of Jamaica’s diamond mines, I would not be too perturbed as pretty much the only mischief she could have gotten up to, is probably falling into a mineshaft, with poor acoustics so we would never have to listen to her cockeyed mangling of the role of Companies of Jamaica.

Instead I will just have to comfort myself that Darwinism usually take care of the idiots first.

If you had planned to or is interested in setting up a business in Jamaica, don’t despair, the cheat sheet for Starting a business in Jamaica should get you started and point you to additional resources so you won’t suffer the same way I did.