Everytime I need to sign some document that needs me to justify or prove my honesty, I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING DISHONEST! And I am tired of it!

Whats the point of this stupidity about justice of the peace? I don’t know any…oh yeah…I know the ones I invariably have to pay off to sign the passport picture, bank application etc…BUT he/she doesn’t know me…hence why I have to pay them to tell lie for me as I can get sh*t done If I don’t.

Government sanctioned extortion

Is this a setup, is it a post given to old political cronies, whats the point, I am broke, yet I can afford to pay $500 to have my loan documents signed…So I am damn sure, that the miscreants of society who are out to do illegal shit from the get go are in no way hampered by this “security measure”.

AT $500 to sign and stamp a document: 10 people per day, 5 days per week, works out to be a whopping 100,000 grand per month, tax free, why the F**K! is this Government sanctioned extortion allowed to take place.

Oh yeah, they are not supposed to charge…but THEY DO!! and everybody including the school children in China knows they do CHARGE…not all, not most (well maybe) but enough charge for this ’free’ service for this practice to as worthless as a third nipple.

These people have no INTEGRITY…they are nothing more than dishonest f*ckers who have been granted the privilege to stick their hands in the cookie jar.

CRAZY SUGGESTION

Rather than tax prostitutes, it might be a much better idea to make certifying documents a paid service. Affix a set fee to each ‘Stamp and Sign’ and apply tax like anything else. Because while the concept is sound, Jamaica and Jamaicans are way too corrupt to be expected to honor the spirit of the system…it sounds bad…but unfortunately thats the way we are.

Can you imagine a a medical doctor, who will take $500 Jamaican dollars ($7.15 USD) to pretend to know you…just stop for two seconds, and imagine what this same ‘Doc’ would do for $100, or a $1000USD or more.

There are few things that are more aggravating than a dunce driver, and trust me there are more dunce drivers on our roads than you can cuss a badword at. Isn’t it kinda weird that most people drive like the gateway to heaven is around the next bend and they just baptise? whats the rush? It’s not like anybody ever reach anywhere early…It just seems like it is hard wired in our psyche to rush and hurry…even when we have no where to rush and hurry to.

There are more mad people on the road driving, than you can find at Bellevue any day of the week.

And it is quite evident if you should keep a watch on Hope Rd. on any night, particularly Saturday and Sunday nights. A few months aback one brethren kill off himself and another brethren at about 3am in the morning…where the hell could he be hurrying to at 3am? everywhere lock…

But then dunce is dunce…you can’t stop to let people cross the street without idiots behind you blowing, some people seem frighten for car horn or them just like blow. We need to ask purpose when the vehicle land on the wharf and if the answer is Taxi, just tear out the horn and throw it away right there.

I could go on for days writing about the escapades of the dunce drivers…so here goes, 8 ways to know if you are a Dunce Driver.

1. You drive an executive coaster bus or a robot taxi.

If you do, you are a dunce! past participle DUNCE!! Tear up the license you bought and leave driving to people with sense.

2. You watch the “other light” and drive off as soon as it turns red?

If you do you are an idiot, the delay is to facilitate the other idiot (and you might well be one) who speeds up on the amber to “mek it” through the red light. If you have ever had an accident at a stoplight and you were wrong then its just darwinism…the dumber ones die first and its more luck than merit why you are here reading this.

3. You race to beat everyone through the 4way stop?

If you are one of those pigs who think the four way stop is a race…ask the person who reading this article to you, to read you the relevant section of the drivers handbook (and yes you can look at the pictures).

4. You pull up right behind the car infront even if it mean blocking an intersection or minor road?

News flash, one car length closer to home is not going to change the price of your bread you selfish bastard.

5. You do not use indicators or hand signals.

Then how the hell will other people know you are turning or planning to? You would actually have to have a brain to qualify for mind reading…

6. You blow your horn as soon as the light goes green?

I have just one word for you monica: physics

7. You drive on the right hand side of the road to avoid waiting in line?

You are a coaster bus/ robot taxi driver! see above, I have nothing more to say to you.

8. You take detours to cut out traffic that bring you back to the same road?

Thats why the traffic backed up in the first place…idiots like you, trying to edge back unto the road. Cars travelling in a straight line travels faster than when intersecting at right angles.

If you realise you are a dunce driver…please for all thats good and pure…just tear up the license you bought and leave driving to people with sense or ask the person who is reading you this article to read you the drivers handbook.

Jamaica