Filed under: General, Life in Jamaica, Survival in Jamaica — xhanubis @ 1:07 am

Setting up a small business in Jamaica, like most Government related activities can be pretty challenging. You need to complete and submit copious amounts of paper work and make several treks between Downtown and New Kingston to visit various offices, that common sense should dictate be close to each other.

Likewise in true “Third World” fashion don’t expect much in terms of directions, advice and or explanations to quote the Director of Companies of Jamaica, the body responsible for registering business names and incorporating companies Ms. Judith Ramlogan “Our company is not obligated to provide information about our services to our clients”.

Despite such arrogance and stupidity, do not be discourage, I have compile the Jamaican Cheat Sheet: Small Business to help you find your way.

Registering your Business
First stop is the Companies of Jamaica website where you can download and print the form you require, depending on your needs. What they may or may not tell you though is that:

Expiration of your certificate does not mean cancellation, you continue to owe the Government for all renewals until the name is cancelled. Keep in mind you might also be audited for taxes though your business is defunct.

Also need to walk with 3 passport size pictures and your TRN number and remember the registration fee.

Companies of Jamaica
1 Grenada Way
Kingston
Tel: 876-908-4419-26

National Insurance Scheme (NIS)
Download your relevant NIS forms and complete and drop off at the NIS office.

Walk with two 2 passport size pictures signed by a JP, and your birth certificate.

National Insurance Scheme
18 Ripon Road
Kingston 5
Tel: 876-929-7144-6

Taxpayer Registration Number (TRN)
Download your TRN FORMS and drop off at the office. Requirements are the same as those for the (NIS) number.

TRN Office
Kingston Mall
12 Ocean Boulevard
Kingston
Tel: 876-922-7429/922-3913

Inland Revenue Dept.
Register with Inland Revenue Department for income tax. Download the applicable forms. Register for Income Tax, Education Tax (ED Tax), General Consumption Tax (GCT) and other statutory deductions.

National Housing Trust (NHT)
Download the relevant forms, complete and drop off at the NHT office.

National Housing Trust
4 Park boulevard
Kingston 5
Tel: 876-929-6500/929-6627

Tax Compliance Certificate (TCC)
Download the TCC form and email it to the following locations.

KINGSTON: tcckingstreet@ird.gov.jm
CONSTANT SPRING: tcccspring@ird.gov.jm
SPANISH TOWN: tccspntwn@ird.gov.jm
MANDEVILLE: tccmandeville@ird.gov.jm
MAY PEN: tccmaypen@ird.gov.jm
ST. ANNS BAY: tccstaby@ird.gov.jm
MONTEGO BAY: tccmobay@ird.gov.jm

You can collect your TCC within 24hrs from the location you sent your email to.

NOTE
All information listed here is schedule to change, and expect this to be as tedious and as time consuming as possible, in the end though it is well worth it as without your contribution to the countries coffers you really don’t have a say.

Filed under: General, Survival in Jamaica — xhanubis @ 12:24 pm

We have all heard it, the healthy benefits of excercise. Even traditional mind traps like nickolodeon and Cartoon Network and encouraging children to turn off the TV and go play, get animated, verb - its what you do. Now it’s one thing to tell ten year olds to go outside and get active…most times they don’t need much encouragement, adults are a different lot all together. With the stresses of modern life work, too much to eat, too little to eat, all the functions and people and event to juggle its easy for us to fall prey to inertia. We get stuck in a unhealthy routine and before we know it we are out of shape over weight and too damn lazy to do anything about it.

So here goes: My 10 tips to stay motivated and sweat for that summer body.

1. Work out to music

Nothing like some power tunes to help get the blood flowing and that lazy ass moving. If you have an ipod check out nikeplus.com. If you don’t have an ipod don’t worry any mp3 player will do. If you don’t have an mp3 player then a discman or a walkman will suffice. Yeah you might look old school, but ignore the snickers…you have they have the added benifit of doubling as light weights.

2. Challenge yourself

Run with a stopwatch, walk with a pedometer, do more reps and keep tabs. Set goals, do more, push hard…inside every tub of lard is a ____________ (insert appropriate imagery).

3. Train with someone more disciplined than yourself

Most people by themself don’t have the drive or the focus…it’s alot easier to wish and do nothing. Get a training partner who will push you rain or shine…The excuse the gut is a sign of prosperity has lost its shine.

4. Integrate excercise into your lifestyle

Plan around your excercise. Other shit is always going to pop up, if you only excercise when you have time you will forever be lazy and fat!

5. Leave the Mobile phone at home

you can’t talk and push for that extra mile at the same time…If you weren’t such an out of shape sad-sack you would be confident that they would be call back.

6. Wear comfortable appropriate footwear

Your feet bear the brunt of the strain. nothing kills vibes like, bruised, sore feet. Take the time to love your feet, they will be carrying you for the rest of your life. If you are a runner, wear running shoes, not dress shoes or tennis shoes or basketball shoes. The only thing with a fat ass, is a fat ass with a limp.

7. Walk, run, skip or play

As long as you do it regularly. The gym can be expensive, walking and running is free. For less than the cost of your cellphone you can get a decent pair of trainers…skipping…any old piece of rope will do.

8. Free Aerobics at emancipation park

7-8pm Monday to Thursday check out the free aerobics class at the emancipation park…yeah freeness it does not get any better.

9. Look in the Mirror

Yes…stand naked in front of your mirror…nope don’t suck in your gut…IF that’s not motivation enough then you are hopeless.

10. Keep thinking “excercise increases stamina”

Yep…become the stud in bed you wish you were. If you can’t run 400 meters…10 minutes of sex is going to positively kill you.

11. And the bonus

Get stronger and faster so you can chase me down, catch me and kick my ass for calling you a…Lazy Ass, Chunky Butt, Dough Person, if you are too lazy to go out and get sweaty!