Yesterday we celebrated our first official “Brudus Day” in commemoration of Bruce Golding and his henchman, Christopher “Dudus” Coke, fucking Jamaica royally. This holiday, far from the usual script, gave us half a day home from work rather than the full day we have come to expect. Also we had no warning, no eve, no indication of the impending “everybody guh home early” to go out and properly prepare for the day.

SO we celebrated “Brudus Day” for half a day, huddled in our cars, stuck in traffic, crapping our pants praying to get home before the “fireworks start”. The fact that it took some people up to three hours to travel 2-3 miles meant we did not get the chance to eat and drink as we would like, since we did not have a a “Brudus Eve” and did not get a chance to stock our glove compartments.

“Brudus Day” did however gave us a chance to talk and cry with our friends, as we panicky keep calling, and Blackberry messenger-ing each other, for updates…weh yuh deh? Yuh reach home? Mi still inna traffic! Mi did jus downtown yuh nuh! Thank God mi reach home! Yuh reach? Thank God…mek sure de grill dem lock!

So how do we celebrate our next “Brudus Day”? Pretty much the same like the first, as this is a holiday that sneaks up on you like a gunman, without warning, without eve. But at least we made a carol we can sing while we huddle in our cars, stuck in traffic:

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I’m telling you why
Bruce and Dudus are burning the town!!

The danger is not that this elected head is really in fact elected by a minority (the respective delegates of each party) but to creative thought and independent thinking inside such a system. In order for one to become ruler of the party one’s loyalty has to be to party first and foremost, power factions within the party which solidifies and support your power secondly and finally the electorate a distant 3rd if not further afield. One could no doubt argue that my reasoning is flawed and that our PM can determine his own course of action; this may be true but by the time an individual has toed the party line, and played yes man for 30 or so years, whatever original thought he started out with is long buried in the party’s collective consciousness, hence the uniformity in bipartisan political school of thought.

Even the youth arms of these two organizations are susceptible to this corrupting influence, regardless of how loud they may claim to encourage independent thought, the nature of the political structure dictates otherwise. How else could you explain the similarities in view points of the senior Jamaica Labour Party (JLP) and junior JLP, the senior People’s National Party (PNP) and Junior PNP. The viewpoints of both old an young differ on everything under the sun except politics. I find it more than coincidental that these youth arms sound identical to their senior counterparts. To gain favour and to move up the ranks invariably means agreeing with the more powerful sponsors who have the power to nip your career in the bud or proclaim you the new “rising star” of Jamaican politics.

By the time one becomes party president, individualism goes out the window and party line becomes paramount. If you should examine the speeches of current party leader and Prime Minister, Bruce Golding, when he briefly flirted with the gutsy move of breaking ties with the old traditions, baggage and excesses, the thoughts then were of an individual free to really think and speak as an individual rather than as the mouth piece of a larger consciousness.

As soon as he returned to the fold all good sense and reason went and the brief flash of brilliance seems to be little more than a dream. One might argue that the change is because he is a politician and he never meant what he said. I beg to disagree. I think he spoke as he did then because he did not have anything to lose and could afford to speak his mind. In this free flowing of ideas I believed he briefly flirted with the idea of putting the electorate first. Once he was reabsorbed, political reality dictated that party and power blocs become his priority and the electorate was once again relegated to the back burner.

We have painted ourselves in a corner, in effect all we have done is “swap black dawg fi monkey”.

Our current political system does not encourage change, our parties’ existence is dependent on maintaining the status quo. So even though the fissure in Bruce Golding’s character has been exposed in the last 3 years, our option for change is none other than Mrs. Portia Simpson-Miller who was as unremarkable, if less controversial, in her tenure as Prime Minister. We have painted ourselves in a corner and in effect all we have done is “swap black dawg fi monkey”.

So effectively we are down to a choice between two failures, two professional politicians, two individuals who have no leadership track record outside of their current leadership positions. What have both leaders led successfully which provides them with the necessary experience to run a country?

The fact is we are screwed, and the following points illustrate the extent:

1. We cannot choose our Prime Minister from the 2.8 million Jamaicans available.
What this means is we can never choose the best person for the job; we are limited to a choice of 2 or so individuals based on party politics.

2. Party success is often to the detriment of individual thought.
Even when we have bright minds entering politics the process is designed to strip all color and individuality from them to create party clones

3. Our elected officials have too much political baggage.
Internal maneuverings create candidates with long strings of debt. This translates into too many priorities placed before us, the electorate.

4. Be a yes man/woman long enough…kills independent thought.

5. There is no proving ground outside of the two cesspools to develop political leadership.

6. And the #1 reason we are screwed. We have narrowed our choice of leadership at any given moment to no more than 2-4 individuals who are decided on by tiny minorities with their own political agendas.

Until we fix these issues, it is going to be almost impossible to see any improvements in the moral fiber of our elected officials and we will continue to wallow in the quagmire of ineffective leadership.

I DID NOT VOTE

Before I go any further into this essay, let me state, “I have never voted” not because I do not think it is important, but simply because there has not been a candidate with enough, balls, values, or good sense to inspire me to.

What is wrong with Jamaica? Why is it our continuous misfortune to be saddled with political leaders who are too stupid to at least Google the word leadership, so that they would at least have some clue of what their job descriptions are?

Look, I know they do not have all the answers…nobody does. But how about AN answer? Just one about something that is a little bit more relevant to the Jamaican society, than probing FINSAC or removing Beka Lamb from the CXC syllabus because it has expletives in it. Let us face the real issues, our students are too busy making phone porn right now to be bothered with reading and for those who bothered to read it, I am sure they hear a lot worse on the streets going to school each day.

Why can’t our political leaders just cut the crap, get off their asses and lead? Not only did we elect them to office, we also pay them to do a job. It is not a favor, it is their job, their responsibility, they owe it to us! I have heard the debate about teachers being paid based on the performance of their students…how about ministers being paid based on the performance of their respective portfolios? Can anyone say ‘Dead fi ‘ungry’?

One definition of leadership states “Influencing a group of people to move towards its goal setting or goal achievement.” What is the goal, we as a country are trying to accomplish?

I have heard the speeches, but I also know that the words you preach from atop your soap boxes are not written or seemingly even endorsed by you. They are just empty words, which sound good but are devoid of conviction, resolve or heart.

IT IS OKAY TO NOT KNOW IT ALL

Yes really. It is okay, you do not have to, as long as you have the maturity to admit that and follow up with the good sense to seek out ideas where you have none, as well as to provide the inspiration to follow through on those ideas.

You guys are the captains of the team; you are NOT the only players. You CAN’T win the game by yourself. You have to LEAD the team. Neither of you seem to have ever led anyone to anything (excluding the other spineless buffoons who follow you blindly) and they are not honest enough with themselves to tell you to your faces you are both ASSHOLES!

Mr. Prime Minister, Mrs. Opposition Leader, you are both ASSHOLES!!

I have said it, now let us move on. If you guys are even remotely interested in being something other than I have just stated, this is the beginning of what you BOTH need to do.

1. We need a goal
And not some bullshit ten (10)page crap, but something concise and clear which can be easily understood and adopted by the masses. I know the election is not for another couple of years but use the media to rally the country behind this goal.

E.G. Work together for a better Jamaica

2. We need plans
A series of well thought out strategies, which we can execute to achieve the goal stated above. We can start from the little things and work our way up, so we can gradually get people used to the idea of change while giving them a feeling of empowerment.

3. Communicate
And I do not mean talking a lot without saying anything like you do now. Instead break down the plans into simple stages and explain it to the masses (yes the masses – they are important, you cannot get shit done without them, they are your TEAM). Outline the issue, explain the strategy we are going to employ, explain the role you will play in the execution of said strategy and IMPORTANTLY explain our role as citizens. Seriously Mr. G, after a year I still have no clue what your plans are, or the contributions you expect me to make as a citizen.

4. Acquire some RESOLVE
Guts, balls, gumption, the desire and strength to fight for this country of ours, against insurmountable odds if necessary. Ask yourself this, are you a Sam Sharpe or a Paul Bogle. Would you give your life if necessary to put Jamaica on the path to peace and prosperity? Well lucky for you, we are not asking you to sacrifice your life…you just need to sacrifice some of your indulgences.

5. Provide inspiration
You need to inspire the country (the TEAM) to want more, to seek change for the better, you need to GIVE US HOPE.

We have no hopes, no dreams to hold unto, nothing to look forward to or work towards, except our own selfish ends. Inspiration is free, it will not add to the budget, you need to rally the TEAM, unite us under one flag and motivate us to work towards that common end…the betterment of all. No matter how good the plan, if we do not play our part you cannot change anything.

Jamaica is in a hole, socially, morally, financially and any other ally’s you care to throw in. Unless TEAM Jamaica pulls together, we are going down. Our elected officials need to stop being arrogant and engage us the people, set us goals, explain the plans, give us our roles, lead with courage and conviction and we will follow.

If you do not have a plan, do not despair, just set the goal, engage us and we will help you find the strategies. What is most important, is that you get real and be prepared to do what needs to be done.

Some things to start with if you are still clueless

- Let us form a resolution to do everything we can do, to improve life in Jamaica. Not just for some but for all who are willing to work for it.

- Let us start with the little things, and cut out the stupid things that distracts us from the real purpose, let us use our power for good.

- Let us have zero tolerance for men pissing in public on our streets.

- Let us stop putting half assed measures in place, if we are going to arrest Bounty Killer for expletives at an adult event, let us also arrest minibus drivers who play the same expletive laden songs on public transportation meant for all.

- Let us live within our means. If the TEAM is facing deprivation, then the captains have no right to be living grandiosely at our expense.

- Let us make the little resources we have count.

- Let us see crime for what it really is; a Jamaican problem rather than a problem for the police. Face it, until we as a nation see the need and the benefits of policing ourselves, the police are powerless. However let us also give the police the tools they need to fight crime. They need intelligence, and the ability to access that intelligence in the field. The big books are obsolete; technology can do a lot more than just talking.

- Let us accept and forgive ourselves of past failures and shoulder our responsibilities for the future. After all if everyone was working together to make Jamaica a better place, there would be no need for me to write this anymore.

What is the point of this stupidity about justice of the peace? I do not know any. Oh yeah, I know the ones I invariably have to pay off to sign the passport picture, bank application etc. BUT he/she does not know me hence why I have to pay for them to tell a lie since as I cannot get sh*t done if I don’t.

Government-sanctioned extortion

Is this a setup, is it a post given to old political cronies, what is the point. I am broke, yet I can afford to pay $500 to have my loan documents signed. I am damn sure that the miscreants of society who are out to do illegal shit from the get go are in no way hampered by this “security measure”.

AT the going rate of $500 to sign and stamp a document: 10 people per day, 5 days per week, this works out to be a whopping $100,000 per month, tax free. Why the F**K! is this Government-sanctioned extortion allowed to take place.

Oh yeah, they are not supposed to charge…BUT THEY DO!! And everybody including the school children in China knows they CHARGE. Not all, not most (well maybe) but enough charge for this ’free’ service for this practice to be as worthless as a third nipple.

These people have no INTEGRITY. They are nothing more than dishonest f*ckers with the government-sanctioned privilege to stick their hands in the cookie jar.

CRAZY SUGGESTION

Rather than tax prostitutes, it might be a much better idea to make certifying documents a paid service. Affix a set fee to each ‘Stamp and Sign’ and apply tax like anything else. Because while the concept is sound, Jamaica and Jamaicans are way too corrupt to be expected to honour the spirit of the system. It sounds bad, but unfortunately that is the way we are and the way it is.

Can you imagine a medical doctor, who will take $500 Jamaican dollars ($7.15 USD) to pretend to know you? Just stop for two seconds, and imagine what this same ‘Doc’ would do for $100, or a $1,000 USD or more.

Pros:

1. The re-focus of much needed man-power and resources from a failed eradication exercise to more pressing areas like child molestation, murder and corruption.

2. Removal of decades of oppression perpetrated against the Rastafarian Religion which utilizes “Herb” as a sacrament.

3. Addition of a new dimension to tourism “Come to Jamaica, get high”. Considering we are one hour and twenty minutes from Miami and famous for our “Weed”, Air-Jamaica might just become viable.

4. Removal of rebel status and making it a drug of the establishment, hereby reducing its attractiveness to youngsters.

5. Removing the burden of “Marijuana” related cases from the courts, so they can deal with more pressing and relevant matters.

6. Medical benefits

Cons:

1. US de-certification of Jamaica as a nation committed to the “War” against drugs resulting in reduced grants and aid to our hemorrhaging economy.

Considering the fact that I personally do not smoke, or sell “Ganja” and have nothing to gain personally from de-criminalization it astounds me that outside of political pressure from the USA there is no real reason why this drug is still illegal. Of course some people are going to argue, that if it becomes legal its usage would increase; I beg to differ as sitting here at my computer writing this article I can get a stick of weed a lot easier than I can get a good plate of “Run Dung”.

The people who want to smoke “Weed” are already weed smokers and its legal status will in no way affect their consumption of the drug.

Likewise the argument that it is going to “mad yuh” or cause other negative mental health effects, see the argument above. To be brutally honest we know that drug control is not about protecting a population as cigarettes and alcohol kill more people yearly than all illegal drugs combined and we are not being protected from those.

SUGGESTIONS:

Let us legalize “Marijuana”, if not for export at least for local consumption. Let us bring it out of hiding and impose taxation like any other commodity. Let us invite our North American counterparts to partake, let them smoke as much as they want here without the ability to “tek it wid dem” so they come back for repeat visits. Let us build up an industry around Marijuana (planting, curing, rolling, packaging) and create employment from a resource that we have naturally.

History can teach us many lessons and using the prohibition period in the USA as a textbook, we know that a government will never control a population’s drug use. Even after billions have been spent on drug campaigns in the US and here in Jamaica, the victory is still elusive. Drug usage has continued unabated. Let us stop wasting our resources and spend money on educating people about the possible effects of smoking “Weed”; let us de-criminalize “Marijuana” so we can better, measure, manage and monitor drug use. Let us, in the words of the late great Peter Tosh, “Legalise It”.

I laud the sense of community which drives the students to reach out to their fellow students in time of a great tragedy, but I could not help but think that there were no candlelight services for the 365 individuals killed January to March of 2007 on their own doorsteps, with not even a lighter flashing in remembrance.

Now do not get me wrong; I am as appalled and horrified by the Virginia Tech massacre as the next person, but isn’t it a little far removed from the roughly 5 persons who are killed in our own country daily?

Have we become so immune to the violence that we commit against each other, that it no longer elicits a response? Or is it that we just do not care?

Is the fact that since the majority of murders in Jamaica occurs outside our circle of friends and or our socio-economic group this has canceled any feelings of kinship we might have had with these victims. While in the case of the Virginia Tech and U.W.I, the shared status as students resonates and forms a bond where previously none existed thus creating a sense of oneness.

It is always a tragedy when such horrific acts take place, but what is more tragic is when the same thing is happening in our own country and it does not move us to act. So 32 people did not get shot within a few minutes in Jamaica, but 148 murders in January, 95 in February and 122 in March is a real grisly picture to paint, and no candles have been lit…by anyone!

Incidentally if you cast your mind back some months to the murder of a business man whose last name happened to be ”Azan”, the PSOJ was up in arms. Businesses were closed in condemnation of the murder in a move that was never before executed nor duplicated since. Not even the recent double murder of six-year-old Tajax and his 15-year-old sister Tavia in Portmore elicited more than the token “We are outraged” statement from the PSOJ.

What seems to be the trend is for us to remain unmoved unless the people lying in the blood are in some way related to or identifiable with us. This insularity among our population supports murder and the senseless taking of life as long as the life taken is not from among our ranks.

Our sense of justice is only ignited when we feel threatened, when we feel that the life that was taken could have been ours or one of our own.

SUGGESTION

(This is definitely numbered among the Crazy)

1. We need equal opportunity murder in Jamaica. Where every Jamaican has an equal chance of stopping the next bullet. Only then will the population act together to denounce the killings which we have become blinded to.

We need the deaths of, 1 policeman, 1 Azan, 1 U.W.I student, 1 Pastor, 1 Diplomat, 1 Minister of Government, 1 Nurse, basically one representative from every class and segment, until we have blood flowing from every quarter of the society. Only then will we be motivated to voice our outrage for the loss of every life; only then will we stop turning a blind eye; only then will we “light candles for the dead” and rid our society of the scourge that is stalking us.

WARNING! This article contains extremely foul language. If you are offended by such please read something less colorful. Now for the not so faint at heart let us dive in…

That it is still punishable by law to “cuss bad words” onstage during an adult event is nothing short of “Fuckery“. This “Blood Claat” hypocrisy is allowed to go unchallenged by Jamaicans while we convince ourselves that we live in a democracy, and we have freedom of speech and other self expression.

The “system” justifies blatant censorship by arguing that it is to protect our children who hear bad words at home, school, on the buses, on the road and every “Blood Claat” place imaginable.

The last time I checked the dance hall is no place for minors, hence the criminalization of bad words at these events is quite asinine. In the same way I can pay money at a massage parlor and get my “hood sucked” or pay to watch skanky ass Russian girls dance naked at Platinum, I would also like to reserve the right to hear every word written in a song including the “Bumbo Claats“…thank you.

With ticket prices running into the thousands and the lack of talent among our current crop of DJs, every, “Raas“, “Blood and Bumbo Claat“, becomes very important in ensuring value for money. That I am to be deprived by the “Blood Claat” hypocrites who are going to make noise over a few well placed bad words, while the children they claim to be protecting are being “fucked” and worst in places of “safety” is quite ironic.

This censorship is not about the effects of bad words on children. We see them all over the streets of Kingston neglected, abused and unwanted. If their well-being was important, why then wasn’t ‘Elephant Man’ prosecuted for having children under 10 years of age as a part of his act? This is not about the society either, our murder rate is approximately 3-4 persons per day, yet murderers are not hunted down and prosecuted as ardently as foul mouthed DJs.

So what is this “fuckery” really about?

Two “fucking” syllables…control…con…”fucking“…trol! It is an action outside of what is deemed acceptable, it is a challenge to the status quo which dictates that they control our voices and our ideas. They need to maintain control over the masses for the current levels of corruption to go unchecked, for the plight of the young and elderly to remain unseen, and for the rape and abuse of children in government facilities to go unnoticed.

Control our voice…they control our expressions! Control our expressions…they control our minds! And to that I say…not a “BLOOD CLAAT“.